Paradise Cafe Discussions - A Place For Bible Research And Christian Encouragement

I think something is up, but I'm not sure what.

For the last month, since just before the Memorial, all my family (exept my brother-in-law and an uncle who is DF'd) has been totally shunning me. None of them live near by but I have recieved no calls or emails and all my calls to them go unanswered and my emails unresponded to.

We have had no bad words among us and the correspondence just ended suddenly. :scratchhead:

Friday I had a message on my machine from a local elder saying that we need to talk. So.......I recon I'll be needin some prayers.

I really dont need this right now! :bangin:

Funny thing.....in all that I have been thru in the last 6 months no elder has called...till now. So I doubt it is suddenly out of concern.

Hopefully, I'm just paranoid.

Jayme :tomatoed:

I have not heard anything,but I would not worry. I got your back! :D
You know me... :rant:
:thumbsup:

Dear Jayme,

I'm sorry if I sound negative, but it sounds as though someone has reported you and the elders want to investigate.

The usual scenario is that if a report is made regarding a member of the congregation then two elders will try to meet in the person's home to check out the story. Some do jump the gun and ask for a meeting at the kingdom hall where there will be three elders present -- a judicial hearing. This shouldn't happen. But that doesn't mean it won't.

Try to find out what it's all about on the phone with the elder who called, if you're comfortable talking to him. If you feel that another elder would be easier to talk to then try phoning him instead. Ask him if he knows what it's all about.

Ask questions, questions, questions. Try not to answer loaded ones from them. You should not agree to meet at the kingdom hall without first having two elders come to your home. Go slow. Give yourself time to think and to pray between sentences. Ask them to use the bible in talking to you as you respond to the word of God.

Hopefully someone who's been an elder can give you some advice better than I can. My first impression was that someone has been asking questions regarding you among your family and now they're standing back, afraid. It's a frightening business.

I'm praying for you right now, Jayme. Remember that the holy spirit will give you the words you need when you need them. Don't be afraid of mere men.

We love you Jayme and want you to tell us how things are going for you. Please!

Love from your sister,:love:
Rez

PS...If you find that someone has made an accusation against you then you have a right to know who they are. You have a right to face your accuser. Don't let them take the cowardly way out. Gently but firmly insist.

I hope I'm totally wrong:crybaby: I hope he phoned to ask you to dinner.:eat:

What Res said! Plus, they may discuise this meeting as a shepard call. Have someone there with you (so that they too can benifit from their words of wisdom) but don't tell them first.
Don't answer nosey questions, just smile and say "why would you ask me that" You have a right to privacy.
If they wount tell you who your accuser is, just say you'd rather follow Math 18 like Jesus outlined.

It sounds like one of your familly reported you.[/i]

Just let me know when I need to come visit.:angry:
:friends:

Dear Jayme,

Whatever is about to happen, please please please remember that fine hearts are adored in the Heavens, They're the One's Whose opinion really matters. You know you'll get a peace from Them far more genuine than you will from the approval of men.

Prayers and best wishes for you and yours,


Acts5v29

P.S. I don't think you're paranoid

I've had TWO visits already where I live for four months, almost five. The first for the memorial. That elder almost peeled out in his car with the folks after my little talk with him.

This mornings family was "delightful"

I look forward to them coming back again. I'm facing up to EVERYTHING I can. Faithful and discreets slaves are us, its not a "class".

I am grateful to no longer feel victimized or unaccepted. As long as its my reality, I have to deal with it. I wrote my mom twice this past six months. She wrote back! Big crying teddy bear crying on the card saying how much she misses me! I told her how much I forgive her for the first letter and then expressed my love for all things spiritual and for her.

Wounds can heal, Jayme. They just hurt while we bear through them. Its like Rez quote about the pain to stay in a bud becomes worse then the pain to blossom. Quite beautiful:giverose:.

Explain your pain and your needs without fear and remember that we will be given help and a way out. Have faith bro:cheer: I'm rooting for you and your family. We all need to be:hug:

With Sis Love, Debbie

Jayme,

The beautifull thing about obeying Jesus Christ is that you never have to tell anyone a lie.

There is no need to get nervous about telling the truth.

It can be done with complete calmness and even serenity.

The truth really does set you free.

When the elders came to visit me and then eventually invited me to a judicial committe hearing all I had to do was tell them the truth.

It seemed to infuriate them!


In Christ

abe

WoW! Why didn't I think of that! :thumbup:

::whistle: :whistle: :whistle:
You knew I was going to do this...:D
I will let you explain..:thumbsup:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bQwin3Vv...re=related :detective:

Will be praying for you,Jayme.

Warm Christian Love
Bangalore

Thanks for all the great advise and support! :grouphug:

I talked with the elder today and it turns out that he was trying to set up a meeting with the CO. The CO was there and wanted to check up on all the inactive ones. (thats a first in a long time around here)

I can tell you I am not disappointed that I missed it. ;)

I wish the elder had just said so in the message instead of .... "call me, we need to talk".....that just gets a person all freaked out.

So i guess I am PARANOID after all! :redface: ha, ha.

But I know many have been thru some pretty crazy stuff and I also know how fanatical the elders can get if they smell trouble.

I'm still worried about my family though. I was talking with Ieremias and he seems to think that the main thing they are all worked up over is that I didnt take my kids to the Memorial. Well, I barley dragged myself there. I just wanted to slip in and slip out, you dont do that with 8 kids! (btw, when I got home the kids and I had a great discussion and watched the "Jesus" film together. Dont let anyone know though, cause its pagan you know, with that cross and all.):whistle:

They dont know what I've been wrestling with concerning the New Covenant. It was really difficult this year, plus not having my wife! They judge me from 500 miles away and were not here to help and now are handing out their disapproval in the way they feel it needs to be done. Shunning is what they know, they feel its Gods way to move people in the right direction.

My goodness, were is the love! :crybaby:

Thankfully we know better, we really do know a God of Love!! :cheer:

Thankyou dear friends, I may have dodged the bullet this time but my day will come and, as Abe said, all I'll have to do is tell them the truth!

:heartbeat:

Love, Jayme :drinking:

Ha, Ha!! :thumbsup:

I heard that song just the other day and thought...."Man, that reminds me of how I feel and of JWs in general!"

Speaking of being paranoid.....Does anyone else feel that there is an unusually high number of JWs who suffer from it, especially in relation to others in the congregation and the elders? This seems to be true in my experiances. I think the whole,..... "if you know sombody did something and you dont tell,then your guilty too"...... thing has everyone policeing and running to the elders about every little thing just in case. :dontknow: Not to mention the mountain of written and unwritten rules!:readthis: