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This came in my email and is based on the old "How many (...) does it take to change a lightbulb?"

Charismatic : Only 1
Hands are already in the air.

Pentecostal : 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians : None
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None
Candles only.

Baptists : At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

Episcopalians: 3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons : 5
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians :
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists : Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

Nazarene : 6
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans : None
Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish :
What's a light bulb?

PS.....anybody got an idea how Jehovah's Witnesses would approach lightbulb-changing?

:P Rez

Hi Rez...

How many JW's ?

None, they don't do a thing unless the governing body tells them to.

Hehehe! similar to my thought. They wouldn't even think of doing it unless it comes out in the WT. It's possible they may be told that the darkness is 'new light'. :readthis:

:shocked::funnyface:

Well, after much discussion with the regional building committee, and the selection as to which congregation is in charge of maintenance, the committee will put it to a special meeting of all service committees after which approval is taken to each body of elders so that consensus can be obtained from motion, seconded and unanimously passed by all congregations affected. Unanimous consent must be obtained while all dissenters are to be viewed thereafter as apostate.

Actual number needed to change the lightbulb? anywhere from 150 to 380.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Love,

sw

ps, none of the above will ever be admitted by any of the above.

NO nO, They call an Elder meeting (a brief one) after the meeting to discuss it. One brother mentions that it may be the fault of Bro X who installed it. A question of his qualifications is discussed. His lack of field service time is noted. His wife is mentioned as wearing tight dresses. One elder says he overheard Bro X discussing the Bible with another Bro after the meeting, and didn't like the sound of it. Another Elder recommends an investigating committy be formed. Two elders are assigned to make an unannounced visit on Bro X and his wife, and to probe for apostate attitudes. A third elder volunteers to be on the Judicial committy that will surely be needed because he knows this brother's lack of faith and he will probably need to be Df'd. The Presiding Overseer tentatively schedules the 3 to meet with him after the next service meeting and mentions that they are out of time and will meet again in 2 weeks to assign a new light bulb changer. They end the meeting with prayer.

:rofl::rofl::rofl: Oh e-m we were posting the same time!:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Good evening brother allenborder:

Thank you and welcome! "The Silent Treatment" is so true!!! :thumbsup::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Also thanx to sisters rez, nt and brothers sw and e-m for the chuckles! What a way to end my day!:rofl::rofl::rofl::giverose:

Much Christian Love and Laffs:D
sis

:rofl::rofl::rofl: Oh e-m we were posting the same time!:rofl::rofl::rofl:
[/quote]

Two X elders who know how it goes for real! :thumbup:

This is from Heidi's JW Humor Site.


How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to change a light bulb?

Twelve. They all live in Brooklyn, and they have to keep changing it every day for "new light."

Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to knock on your door and ask you if you've seen the light!

None. They're always getting "new light" from Brooklyn.

Nobody knows, they haven't seen the light YET.

Warm Christian Love
Bangalore