Hello everyone. I've been inundated with two bombshells in the past couple of months.
First, my 12 year old has started having night seizures. We had an e.e.g. done, and are now waiting for our appointment with the neurologist to discuss treatment. (The e.e.g. did show abnormal signs, as we expected). It's a hard rock to climb.
Then yesterday, I found out my 18 year old son has gotten himself addicted to oxycontin and heroin. He had moved out for a while, and just moved back in with us because he ran out of money. Then things started disappearing from our home; lots of money and many items. He also forged a check from our checkbook and drained our account. It was last night when I noticed his safe box open....and found loads of used "works", spoons, razors, the whole ensemble. :cry: When questioned, he admitted to using and realizing he is addicted. I had to kick him out of the house because of the danger involved. In the meantime, we are working on getting him into some kind of detox program, but we don't have health insurance. Many won't take him because of that. I hope it doesn't sound horrible, but I'm hoping the cops jail him for the forged check. That way he can at least detox in jail, and then get into an "after-detox" type of program.
We are heartsick. One boy is battling seizures, the other is battling drugs. Hubby and I are helping each other through this, but we sure could use as many prayers as possible.
Come, Lord Jesus.
I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this.
How frightening about your young son.
Let us pray they find out why soon & can help.
It's a hard decision dealing with the older one's . My heart goes out to you.
Sometimes they just need to hit rock bottum before they turn around.
I too had a son go through some bad times.
My prayers & thoughts will be with you and your family.
Blithe
Sorry to hear about this,sister. Will pray for you and your family.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
Melancholyhouse,
I am sorry and know your heartache over what is happening. My daughter became addicted to crystal meth and heroin in her late teens. We almost lost her, they had to restart her heart 3 times in ER one night.
There is help. We got her in a REhab facility where she detoxed for three months and got counseling, actually we all did as addiction is a family issue. It was still a long road back with relapses over several years, this is to be expected. Five years on she is the bright and beautiful daughter we knew she could be and we have a healthy grandson from her. There is hope.
Check with your local Narcotics Anonymous chapters. They are free and all members are recovering addicts. They can arrange for a buddy system to help a person thru detox and counseling with the 12 Step program. They can also arrange for an intervention. The State in which you live should have state run facilities- sober living houses.
Check with your family doctor for advise. Detox is painfull and a person needs supervision. Many teens are attracted to drugs like uppers and downers- meth and heroin as a result of changing body and brain chemistry. Kids with hyper-brain activity like ADD, ADHD or Depression will seek alcohol or drugs to feel better. My daughter had severe hyper-brain activity in high school to the point she couldn't see letters and had to memorize all school lessons. She said that meth actually made her brain feel normal. Imagine how attractive it makes an addicitive drug like that.
With Meth and Heroin a person can become almost instantly addicted if the brain chemistry is right. Keep in contact with your son, let him know you love him and there is help.
Its your decision to have him in your home or not. Its pretty scary and you have to protect other family members.
Let me reassure you there is help available and there is hope for recovery. Many kids grow out of addictions. The brain matures to about age 25 and many chemical imbalances correct themselves.
Al-Anon is a free counseling organization for families, you should have a chapter in your town.
Be prepared for about 3-5 years of intense involvement in recovery once it begins. It is not a smooth line to getting well. Get counseling for yourselves. If you can find the book get- Theory and Practice of Counseling and Psychotherapy by Phd. Corey, probably the best book written for understanding all of the dynamics of addictions and family dynamics. I think Amazon carries it.
If I can be of any help pm me and I'll get you my phone number, you can call me anytime day or night. If your son would like to talk with my daughter she will be happy to speak with him, she now works as a counselor and mentor with Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous and has helped many in recovery.
God bless
designs
Hello everyone. I've been inundated with two bombshells in the past couple of months.
First, my 12 year old has started having night seizures. We had an e.e.g. done, and are now waiting for our appointment with the neurologist to discuss treatment. (The e.e.g. did show abnormal signs, as we expected). It's a hard rock to climb.
Then yesterday, I found out my 18 year old son has gotten himself addicted to oxycontin and heroin. He had moved out for a while, and just moved back in with us because he ran out of money. Then things started disappearing from our home; lots of money and many items. He also forged a check from our checkbook and drained our account. It was last night when I noticed his safe box open....and found loads of used "works", spoons, razors, the whole ensemble. :cry: When questioned, he admitted to using and realizing he is addicted. I had to kick him out of the house because of the danger involved. In the meantime, we are working on getting him into some kind of detox program, but we don't have health insurance. Many won't take him because of that. I hope it doesn't sound horrible, but I'm hoping the cops jail him for the forged check. That way he can at least detox in jail, and then get into an "after-detox" type of program.
We are heartsick. One boy is battling seizures, the other is battling drugs. Hubby and I are helping each other through this, but we sure could use as many prayers as possible.
Come, Lord Jesus.
:friends: I'm so sorry you're going thru this... You and your family are in my prayers, Tami. :pray:
Thank God for the information posted by brother designs above - and thank God for brother designs! No one knows better than someone who's lived through it and survived to help others cope.
With love, Willa
Sorry to hear about your problems, Melancholymuse. I hope you have the strength to get through this awful time. :hug:Designs sent you some wonderful hope and great information. You would do well to heed all the advice someone like herself gives, as she obviously knows what you are going through. I don't, and can only offer words of encouragement to you, and my prayers for your whole family.Take care,
Christian love to you,
Grateful
Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers everyone. :giverose:
And designs, thank you so much for the advice! I'll keep your daughter in mind, I appreciate that. :heartbeat:
This all started because he sustained a severe back injury in an auto accident when he was 11 years old. The past couple of years the pain has become really bad for him. He was going to doctors and getting vicodin, but after a while that wasn't working so well. In late October he turned 18, and was finally able to get his money from the bank (money due to that accident). By law I couldn't control his money flow, and he went out on his own and got in over his head. He went through the entire $150,000 in just four months. :( (well, actually $120,000 -- he bought hubby and me a nice mobile home, bless his heart).
I told his girlfriend last night that I'm keeping my cell phone with me at all times, and not to be afraid to call me if he gets into any trouble -- even if it's in the middle of the night. I definitely want to keep contact with him. He bouncing from friend to friend right now, so it's hard to know how he's doing.
Thank you for all your kind words and prayers everyone, you are priceless.
If anyone here has gone through the "Tough Love" process, please pm me.
I'm not looking for sympathy. It's just that this is so difficult: Where is the line between tough love and cruelty?
For example:
Yesterday, my addicted son, "D", told me he had a place he could stay for a week, but the parents wanted $40 to cover the extra food expense. Fair enough. (Before this he was sleeping at the hospital emergency room and things like that). I told him that hubby and I would personally take him to this friend's home and pay the money to the parent's ourselves. Of course, this wasn't good enough for him and an argument ensued. Later, I found out it was a lie (no surprise). We wouldn't let him stay with us. It got down to a mere 16 degrees overnight. At two-something in the morning, the local sheriff called me, telling me he found my son wandering the streets, cold and shivering. I explained the situation to the officer and asked about homeless shelters. Although the officer sympathized with our situation, there is nothing in our area for homeless people. We tried several other ideas to no avail. Before the officer brought him home, hubby and I locked up all our money and most valuable items in our bedroom. We locked the car and kept all the house keys, car keys, cell phones, and loose cash on us (slept in our blue jeans to do so). Hubby had to work today, so I stayed up until 6am, just to be sure "D" was sleeping, before I went to bed.
I took my son in for the night. I don't want him dying of hypothermia. The officer gave him a stern warning before departing.
But did I do the right thing? The wrong thing? I don't want him dead, but where is the line between enabling and compassion? Where is the line between tough love and cruelty?
If the weather were better I would certainly have just made him spend the night outside. I don't want to be an enabler, but I'm scared I might get too tough.
When is too much? When is too little?
We're new at this situation....we keep second guessing ourselves and don't know if we're doing the right thing.
Any guidance will be greatly appreciated.
Dear M & M's, (had to do it, and I'm sure that nickname makes you smile:D.)
One of my friends gave me this email. I've been out of town and just got back. Your post was the first and only thread I read. I felt so bad for you. My children and I went out of town and heard all kinds of news about family and friends' family, times are spiraling.
Well I'm giving you a computer hug and crying.
I left to go check my email and dear friend of mine emailed me the following. I don't know that validity of the claim. I don't know if its email fear mongering or its true; since it related with seizures, I passed it along:
Very Important although warnings on containers caution giving to children uner 4 years of age!!!!
All drugs containing PHENYLPROPANOLAMINE are being recalled.
STOP TAKING anything containing this ingredient. It has been linked to increased hemorrhagic stroke (bleeding in brain)
Among women ages 18-49 in the three days after starting use
Of medication The FDA recommended that everyone (even children) seek alternative medicine.
The following medications contain Phenylpropanolamine:
Acutrim Diet Gum Appetite Suppressant
Acutrim Plus Dietary Supplements
Acutrim Maximum Strength Appetite Control
Alka-Seltzer Plus Children's Cold Medicine Effervescent
Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold medicine (cherry or orange)
Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold Medicine Original
Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold & Cough Medicine Effervescent
Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold & Flu Medicine
Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold & Sinus Effervescent
Alka-Seltzer Plus Night-Time Cold Medicine
BC Allergy Sinus Cold Powder
BC Sinus Cold Powder
Comtrex Flu Therapy & Fever Relief
Day & Night Contac 12-Hour Cold Capsules
Contac 12 Hour Caplets
Coricidin D Cold, Flu & Sinus
Dexatrim Caffeine Free
Dexatrim Extended Duration
Dexatrim Gelcaps
Dexatrim Vitamin C/Caffeine Free
Dimetapp Cold & Allergy Chewable Tablets
Dimetapp Cold & Cough Liqui-Gels
Dimetapp DM Cold & Cough Elixir
Dimetapp Elixir
Dimetapp 4 Hour Liquid Gels
Dimetapp 4 Hour Tablets
Dimetapp 12 Hour Extendtabs Tablets
Naldecon DX Pediatric Drops
Permathene Mega-16
Robitussin CF
Tavist-D 12 Hour Relief of Sinus & Nasal Congestion
Triaminic DM Cough Relief
Triaminic Expectorant Chest & Head
Triaminic Syrup Cold & Allergy
Triaminic Triaminicol Cold & Cough
I just found out and called the 800# on the container
For Triaminic and they informed me that they are voluntarily recalling the following medicines because of a certain ingredient that is causing strokes and seizures in children
Orange3D Cold &Allergy Cherry (Pink)
3D Cold &Cough Berry
3D Cough Relief Yellow 3D Expectorant
They are asking you to call them at 800-548-3708 with
The lot number on the box so they can send you postage for you
To send it back to them, and they will also issue you a refund.
If you know of anyone else with small children,
PLEASE PASS THIS ON. THIS IS SERIOUS STUFF!
With Prayers and Love, Debbie
PS. Personally, I would keep the evidence.
Thank you so much, Deborah.
It's good to know these things. Although my son hasn't needed any of those medicines in the past couple of months, it's good to know to stay away from them, in case he develops a cold or whatever. It's bad enough he gets these seizures, but he's also moderately autistic on top of that.
His seizures vary. We keep his and our bedroom doors open now, so we can hear him at night. When he calls out "I'm Scared!", we go in to him. That's when he's going through what's called a partial seizure. In a partial seizure, he remains conscious and experiences full body jerks -- just like someone who is very startled -- over and over again for 15-20 minutes. This terrifies him. Other times, when he's in a full seizure, we might wake up to him making strange grunting noises, due to the convulsions. Then he goes through an unconscious stage, with his eyes half open, and then a weeping stage. The whole process takes about 1/2 hour.
Sadly, we don't always hear the grunting stage when he has a full seizure...we wake up when he's crying. The only blessing is that he has no memory of the full seizure, unlike when he has a partial seizure.
We are trying everything to lessen the episodes until we see the neurologist: Eliminating caffeinated sodas, keeping a regular bedtime no matter what, and keeping the light off in his room when he sleeps (he liked it on-- we compromise by using the hall light). We have also severely restricted his "screen time" -- only two hours per day of combined computer and television time. We see the neurologist on the 24th...just over a week from now. I've tried to get a sooner appointment, but the office is central to our region and they have a lot of patients.
We appreciate all prayers for our boy. Thank you.
Love,
Tami
Dear Tami,
I don't know what I would do about your son who is experiencing serious addiction. I have an almost 14 year old who seems very inclined to take that alcohol and drug path. Right now he is testing me by making comments about drugs in a humourous way.
I have been "tough loving" this child since birth. He went to an outdoor therapy program at the age of eight because he was so difficult. Took my keys to the minivan and ran into two cars and almost ran over a person because he had the "need for speed". Reality is not one of his strong attributes. Unfortunately, he has a learning disability and an emotional disability. To compensate for the defficiencies, Remington wants to make himself a "dare devil" to compete for popularity. Rem was popular at his last school. Now he is told he is a fag and looks feminine. He is struggling here. At the moment, he is coping better than some incidents we have endured.
I'll have to keep in touch with you for advice if I end up in the same position. My children are 17, almost 14, 12, and 9. Boys first and girls last. My 17 year old wants to live with his Nana to get he Georgia Hope scholarship. Why should I allow someone else to get my child a year before he hits the road?
With much love and prayers. I pray you get the advice and direction that you need. Some drugs are harder than others to conquer. I've seen wreckage from people on drugs. There is still always hope.
With Love, Debbie
Good advise and good that you both are sharing your experiences.
It takes that kind of support.
Kids with hyper brain activity are very sensitive to medicines with uppers and downers (in medical form) in them. So know what's in your medicine cabinet. Remove all alcohol from your homes. Even some mouth washes contain alcohol along with cough syrups.
Drug overdoses are everywhere and many are unprepared, even the family doctor won't take the time to explain all of the side effects of prescriptions. 3-4 years ago two Elders in my town plowed there cars thru buildings, they had mixed alcohol with prescription pain killers, very dangerous.
Contact your local AA and NA support groups. Get kids involved in healthy lifestyles like sports.
designs
edit: The gist of this post [
has moved]
May you find the wisdom and power to overcome your situation.
my personal coach has a personal message for you
spiceant:)
I'm not looking for sympathy. It's just that this is so difficult: Where is the line between tough love and cruelty?
But did I do the right thing? The wrong thing? I don't want him dead, but where is the line between enabling and compassion? Where is the line between tough love and cruelty?
When is too much? When is too little?
We're new at this situation....we keep second guessing ourselves and don't know if we're doing the right thing.
Any guidance will be greatly appreciated.
Hi,
It sounds like you are making wise choices. Good for you to not be taken in and just hand over money.
I never denied my son a meal, shower & clean clothes , we fortunalty lived in a warm climate at the time & he had a car to sleep in. This must be so difficult, just do the best you can & not beat yourself up in hind sight.
I googled tough love support groups &there is a lot of info and online groups. Hope this helps, in our prayers.
Blithe
[quote=spiceant]
Why are there problems today that are not just exclusive to civilized people but exclusive to only the last few years or decades?
I think you have posted on the wrong forum. I would answer if it was moved.
Blithe