The Top Five Ladies Bumper Stickers.
SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.
IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.
DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.
WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.
MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Ladies Bumper Stickers.
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.
ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.
I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.
HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?
SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED. I'M NOT.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Funny Bumper Stickers.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Don't drink and drive...You might hit a bump and spill it.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home.
Ambivalent? Well yes and no....
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Funny Bumper Stickers.
She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.
You have the right to remain silent....Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Funny Bumper Stickers.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Cats regard people as warm-blooded furniture.
My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash, and it's gone.
Every time I hear the word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
My reality check just bounced.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Funny Bumper Stickers.
I'm not 50. I'm $49.95 plus tax.
Annapolis--A drinking town with a sailing problem.
I need somebody bad. Are you bad?
Physically pffffffft!
Buckle up. It makes it harder for the aliens to snatch you from your car.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Funny Bumper Stickers.
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From the Next Exit
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all it's students!
According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Funny Bumper Stickers.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
Too many freaks not enough circuses
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five New Definitions.
TRAFFIC LIGHT -- apparatus that automatically turns red when your car
approaches.
DIVORCE -- postgraduate in School of Love.
PIONEER -- early American who was lucky enough to find his way out of the woods.
PEOPLE -- some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority has no idea what's happened.
SWIMMING POOL -- a mob of people with water in it.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five New Definitions.
SALESMAN -- man with ability to convince wife she'd look fat in mink.
CANNIBAL -- person who likes to see other people stewed.
EGOCENTRIC -- a person who believes he is everything you know you are.
FOREIGN FILM -- any movie shown in a Texas theater that isn't a western.
MAGAZINE -- bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming in the next issue.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five New Definitions.
COLLEGE: The four-year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone.
EMERGENCY NUMBERS: Police station, fire department and places that deliver.
OPERA: When a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding he sings.
BUFFET: A French word that means "Get up and get it yourself."
BABY-SITTER: A teen-ager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teen-agers.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Acronyms.
ISDN = It Still Does Nothing
APPLE = Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM = I Blame Microsoft
DEC = Do Expect Cuts
CA = Constant Acquisitions
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Acronyms.
CD-ROM = Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 = Obsolete Soon, Too.
SCSI = System Can't See It
DOS = Defunct Operating System
BASIC = Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five One One-Liners.
Always wanted to be a procrastinator, but never got around to it.
My friend has kleptomania, but when it gets bad, he takes something for it.
Did you hear about the big fight that Madonna, Cher, Jewel, and Fabio had?
They're no longer on a first-name basis.
It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
If you take a shower in the morning be sure to bring it back, someone else might need it!!
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five One One-Liners.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Just when you think you've hit bottom, someone tosses you a shovel.
For Sale: Wedding dress, size 12, worn once by mistake.
Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?
Money talks but all mine ever says is "goodbye."
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore