The Top Five One Liners.
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he
was God and I didn't.
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.
Don't take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five One Liners.
Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
Procrastinate . Now!!
He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five One Liners.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are just missing.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Three One Liners.
The trouble with life is there's no background music.
Smith and Wesson - the original point and click interface
I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five One Blonde One-Liners.
What did the blond say when she opened up a box of Cherios?
Oh look, little donut seeds.
How many blonds did it take to change the lightbulb?
5, one to hold the lightbulb, 4 to turn the room around.
Blond #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
Blond #2: "No, who wrote it?"
What do you call a blond with a high IQ?
A golden retriever.
Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
To see what was on the other side.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five One Blonde One-Liners.
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes go in first.
Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's ear?
A: Data transfer
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five One Blonde One-Liners.
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just dyed her hair.
Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five One Blonde One-Liners.
Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.
Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A1: Introduces themself.
A2: Walks home.
Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A: Because they don't know any better.
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: "What's a lightbulb?"
A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"
Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine?
A: "Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!"
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five One Blonde One-Liners.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?
A: She didn't like it 'cos she couldn't get channel 9....
Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello?
A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five One Blonde One-Liners.
Q: How do blonde braincells die?
A: Alone.
Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
Q: Why do Blondes like the GST? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax)
A: Because they can spell it.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five One Blonde One-Liners.
Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on top of her.
Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek champion.
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
Q: What does a postcard from a blonde's vacation say?
A: Having a fantastic time. Where am I?
Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
A: Present her with a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say "Hello"
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five One Blonde One-Liners.
Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.
Q: What's the difference between a smart blonde and the Yeti?
A: Yeti has been spotted.
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: She didn't want to waken the sleeping pills.
Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag?
A: One.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five One Blonde One-Liners.
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night.
Q: Did you hear about the dumb blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
Q: Why are blonde's immune to Mad Cow Disease?
A: It only affects the brain.
Q: What would you do if a Blond threw a hand grenade right at you?
A: You'd pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five One Blonde One-Liners.
Q: What's the diff between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: What's a dumb Blondes favorite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch a cold?
A: No need for em to worry about blowing their brains out.
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five One Blonde One-Liners.
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.
Q: Where do you look for blonde's obituaries?
A: Under "Home Improvements."
Q: Why did the blonde go to the rehab center?
A: Because she thought she was hooked on phonics.
Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?
A: An air mattress.
Q: What do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials?
A: Double-dumb.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore