The Top Five One Liners.
Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of cheques.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five One Liners.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
It's sad how whole families are torn apart by simple things, like wild dogs.
Karaoke is Japanese for "Tone Deaf"
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five One Liners.
A day without radiation is a day without sunshine.
I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming, terrified, like his passengers.
Do not put statements in the negative form.
Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got.
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five One Liners.
Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.
My Wild Oats Have turned to Shredded Wheat!
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys
Bombs don't kill people, explosions kill people.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five One Liners.
I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem.
Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.
Lord, if I can't be skinny, please let all my friends be fat.
Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
Losing a husband can be hard. In my case it was almost impossible.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Legal Quotes.
Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses.
1. "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"
2. "The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"
3. "Were you present when your picture was taken?"
4. "Were you alone or by yourself?"
5. "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Four Legal Quotes.
Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses.
"Did he kill you?"
"How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
"You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
"How many times have you committed suicide?"
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Travel Agent Terms.
Old world charm ......... Room with no TV, radio and only 1 light.
Tropical ........................ Rainy.
Majestic setting ....... A long way from town, at end of dirt road.
Options galore ............. Nothing is included in the price.
Secluded hideaway .......Directions to locate unclear.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Travel Agent Terms.
Some budget rooms .....Sorry, already occupied.
Explore on your own .....At your own expense.
Minutes From ???...........By Plane
Romantic ...................... No Phone in room
Knowledgeable trip hosts ... They've flown in an airplane before.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Travel Agent Terms.
No extra fees .............. No extras available.
Bird Watchers Paradise...... Your car's paint will never be the same
Nominal fee ................. Outrageous charge.
Standard ..................... Sub-standard.
Deluxe ........................ Barely Standard.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Travel Agent Terms.
Superior accommodations... One complimentary chocolate,free shower cap.
All the amenities ......... Two chocolates, two shower caps.
Just Like Home............. No Maid service.
Plush ................. Both top and bottom sheets, bed shakes.
Gentle breezes ........... In hurricane alley.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Three Travel Agent Terms.
Light and airy .............. No air conditioning.
Picturesque ................ Theme park nearby.
24-hour bar .....Ice cubes at additional cost (when available).
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Lawyer Quotes.
# Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer
Will Rogers
# There are three sorts of lawyers - able, unable and lamentable
Robert Smith Surtees
# Necessity knows no law; I know some attorneys of the same
Benjamin Franklin
# Law school has been described as a place for the accumulation of learning. First-year students bring some in; third-year students take none away. Hence it accumulates
Unknown
# Lawyers are always more ready to get a man into troubles than out of them
William Goldsmith
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Lawyer Quotes.
# A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a thousand men with guns
Mario Puzo
# The one great principle of English law is to make business for itself
Charles Dickens
# America is the paradise of lawyers
David Brewer
# Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers
Elbert Hubbard
# A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth
Patrick Murray
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Lawyer Quotes.
# Only Lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty
George Bernard Shaw
# The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing
Will Rogers
# An incompetent lawyer can delay a trial for months or years. A competent lawyer can delay one even longer
Unknown
# Lawyer: An individual whose principal role is to protect his clients from others of his profession
Unknown
# Lawyers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished
Jermy Bentham
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore