The Top Five Things That Would Occur If Men Got Pregnant.
Men would be eager to talk about commitment
Sons would have to be home from dates by 10:00 PM
Briefcases would be used as diaper bags
Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes
They'd stay in bed during the entire pregnancy
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five That You Might Ba A Blueneck.(Opposite of Redneck)
- Instead of referring to two or more people as "Y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.
- You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
- You think Heinz Ketchup is REALLY SPICY.
- You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the side of the road.
- You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five That You Might Ba A Blueneck.(Opposite of Redneck).
- You don't know what a moon pie is.
- You've never had an RC Cola.
- You've never, ever eaten okra -- fried, boiled, or pickled.
- You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
- You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five That You Might Ba A Blueneck.(Opposite of Redneck).
- You have no idea what a polecat is.
- You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on your dog.
- You don't have bangs.
- You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
- You've never eaten and don't know how to make a tomato sandwich.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Signs That You Might Ba A Blueneck.(Opposite of Redneck).
- You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
- You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
- You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
- You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice)
- You don't know any women with male names (i.e., Tommie, Bobbie, Johnnie, Jimmie)
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Ronald Reagan One Liners.
"Here's my strategy on the Cold War:
We win, they lose." -- Ronald Reagan
"The most terrifying words in the English language are:
I'm from the government and I'm here to help." -- Ronald Reagan
"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant:
It's just that they know so much that isn't so." -- Ronald Reagan
"Of the four wars in my lifetime none came about because
the U.S. was too strong." -- Ronald Reagan
"The taxpayer: That's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination." -- Ronald Reagan
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five You Are 'Burned Out' Because of Work"
1. You're so tired you now answer the phone, "Hell."
2. Your friends call to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, "Get off my back, jerk!"
3. Your garbage can IS your "in" box.
4. You wake up to discover your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don't care.
5. You have so much on your mind, you've forget often how to think.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five You Are 'Burned Out' Because of Work"
Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it through ...er.... Monday.
You sleep more at work than at home.
You leave for a party and instinctively take your ID badge.
Your Day Timer exploded a week ago.
You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five New Slogans For Valuejet Airlines.
ValueJet: When you just can't wait for the world to come to you.
ValueJet: We're Amtrak with wings.
Join our frequent near-miss program.
On flights, every section is a smoking section.
Ask about our out-of-court settlements.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five New Slogans For Valuejet Airlines.
Are our jet engines too noisy? Don't worry. We'll turn them off.
Complimentary champagne during free-fall.
Enjoy the in-flight movie in the plane next to you.
The kids will love our inflatable slides.
You think it's so easy, get your own plane!
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five New Slogans For Valuejet Airlines.
Which will fall faster, our stock price or our planes?
Our pilots are all terminally ill and have nothing to lose.
ValueJet: We may be landing on your street.
ValueJet: Terrorists are afraid to fly with us.
Bring a bathing suit.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five New Slogans For Valuejet Airlines.
Some airlines are content to fly thousands of feet over landmarks. We try to get as close as possible for the best view.
That guy who crashed into the White House was one of our best pilots.
Fly ValueJet. Find out there really is a God.
ValueJet: A real man lands where he wants to.
Our staff has had lots of experience consoling next-of-kin.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Groucho Marx's One Liners.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
I sent the club a wire stating, Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Groucho Marx's One Liners.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Groucho Marx's One Liners.
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions-the curtain was up.
Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he is a crook.
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore