The Top Five Signs That You Might Be From Wisconsin.
You have ever gotten frostbitten and sunburned in the same week.
The snow on your roof in August weighs more than you do.
You go out for fish fry on every Friday.
Your 4th of July Family Picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
You think that Lutheran and Catholic ARE the major religions.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Signs That You Might Be From Wisconsin.
"Down South" to you means Chicago.
You define "swimming season" as Labor Day weekend.
You have more fishing poles than teeth.
Formal wear is a flannel shirt, blue jeans and a baseball cap.
You know that Gotham is a real city.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Signs That You Might Be From Wisconsin.
Your idea of the seasons is Winter, Spring and the 4th of July.
You know where Waunakee is AND can pronounce it.
You have no problem spelling Milwaukee
When you tell someone where you are from and they say: 'I thought that was part of Canada.
You know how to polka.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Signs That You Might Be From Wisconsin.
You can identify a Michigan accent.
You know what "cow-tipping" is.
A brat is something you eat .
You used to think Deer Season was included as an official school holiday.
You can actually pronounce and spell Oconomowoc.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Six Common Misconceptions About Texas.
* That everything is twice as big in Texas. - Really everything is 1.865 times bigger, but we round up.
* That the women have big hair. - In fact this was outlawed in July 1977. There is a task force and they are doing their best to reach every last woman. Bear with us.
* That Texas gets extremely hot in the summer. - Actually we only have 2-3 days of real heat in Texas ... real heat being when there is over a 75% probability of self-combustion.
* That JR Ewing still lives here. - That was a tv show people! Come on! Chuck Norris, on the other hand, is a real, karate-choppin' Texas Ranger.
* That we have killer bees, fire ants, gigantic roaches and mosquitoes and other awful insects, tornadoes, hurricanes, and damaging hailstorms. - I don't know where this pack of hysteria got started, but we're gonna assume it's from some non-Texan type. We tend to think of them as a few bitty bugs and a bad hair day.
* That everyone speaks with a Texas accent. - Y'all just don't know what y'all are talking about.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Facts About Atlanta For Visitors.
Atlanta is comprised entirely of one way streets. The only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina.
All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree..."
Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end.
Atlanta is home of Coca Cola. That's all we drink here, so don't ask for any other soft drink.
Atlantans only know their way home and their way to work.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Facts About Atlanta For Visitors.
Gate One at the Airport is 32 miles away from the Main Concourse.
It's impossible to go around a block and wind up on the street you started on. The Chamber of Commerce calls this a "scenic drive".
The 8 a.m. rush hour is from 6:30 to 9:30 a.m. The 5:00 p.m. rush hour is from 3:30 to 6:30 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
Reversible Lanes are not understood by anybody.
"Sir" and "Ma'am" are used by the person speaking to you if there's a remote possibility that you're at least 30 minutes older than they are.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Facts About Atlanta For Visitors.
"Sugar" is a more common form of address than "Miss". So is "Honey".
Ponce de Leon Avenue can only be pronounced by a native, so do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you.
The falling of one rain drop causes all traffic to immediately cease; so will daylight savings time and a girl applying eye shadow across the street, or a flat tire three lanes over.
If you're standing on a corner and a MARTA Bus stops, you're expected to get on and go somewhere.
Atlanta is pronounced "Lan-uh".
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Facts About Atlanta For Visitors.
Construction on Peachtree Street is a way of life, and a permanent form of entertainment.
Construction crews aren't doing their job properly unless they close down all lanes except one during rush hour.
Atlanta's traffic is the friendliest around. The commuters spend hours mingling with each other twice a day. In fact, Atlanta's traffic is rated number 1 in the country. You will often see people parked beside the road and engaged in lively discussions.
Atlantans are very proud of their race track, known as Road Atlanta. It winds throughout the city on the Interstates, hence its name.
20. Georgia 400 is the southern equivalent of the AutoBahn. You will rarely see a semi-truck on GA400, because the truck drivers are intimidated by the oversized-SUV-wielding housewives racing home after a grueling day at the salon or the tennis match to meet their children at the school bus.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Signs That You Are A New Father.
Getting six hours of sleep is a privilege.
The sentence, "Honey, could you take his foot out of my pocket?" sounds normal.
You are used to doing everything one-handed.
The thought of your mother-in-law coming over for a few hours is a pleasant one.
The list of bodily fluids that disgust you has shortened, possibly to zero.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Ten Reasons to Ask Your Boss For A Raise.
10. You take your paycheck to the bank and the teller bursts out in hysterical laughter.
9. The Red Cross calls and offers you emergency assistance.
8. Your only charge cards are for the Salvation Army, ARC, and DAV thrift stores.
7. You work full time and you still qualify for food stamps.
6. You empty out your piggy bank and then cook the bank and serve it for your Easter ham.
5. All you can think about morning, noon and night is clipping grocery coupons.
4. You file your income taxes and the IRS returns them stamped, "Charity Case -- Return To Sender."
3. You set the world record for mailing $1.00 rebate requests to Young America, Minnesota.
2. You pay all your bills, put your remaining $1 bill into your billfold and it goes into shock.
1. You get arrested for taking the coins out of the fountain in the mall.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Seven Political Daffynitions.
Campaign rhetoric: Baloney disguised as food for thought.
A radical: Someone whose opinions differ from yours.
A politician: One who claims to understand both sides of an issue (and may take them both).
Tax collector: Someone looking for untold wealth.
Congress: Where a person gets up to speak, has nothing to say, nobody listens, then everyone disagrees.
Tax loopholes: Like parking spaces, they seem to disappear by the time you get there.
Defeated candidate: A person who is lucky because he doesn't have to explain why he didn't keep campaign promises.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Questions Asked In Court.
These are things people actually said in court, word for word.
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five George W Bush One Liners.
Q: What is the President Bush's new fitness program to get people walking again?
A: GAS at $3/gallon
Q: Why is George Bush giving tax cuts like Jim Jones giving Kool-Aid?
A: It tastes good but it'll kill you.
Q: Why can George W Bush run for a third term as president?
A: Because the Supreme Court said if you count his vacation time, he's barely served one."
Q: What did George W ask the Louisiana National Guard when visiting the destruction from Katrina?
A: Does this visit count toward the service time I still owe the National Guard.
Q: What's the sad truth about George W Bush's poll numbers?
A: More people believe Elvis is alive then in George W
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Carlinisms.
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore