The Top Five Marriage One Liners.
Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper.
Getting married is similar to going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
Marriage is a romantic story, in which hero dies in the first chapter."
Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!!
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. -Oscar Wilde
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Marriage One Liners.
Love is holding hands in the street. Marriage is holding arguments in the street.
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. -Sam Kinison
A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free.
Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. -H. L. Mencken
Love is dinner in your favorite restaurant. Marriage is a take home packet.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Marriage One Liners.
The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he'll be late for dinner and the answering machine says it is in the microwave.
A man who muttered a few words in the church, found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced!
Marriage is a rest period between romances.
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
In love you go to bed early. After marriage, you go to sleep early.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Sarcastic One Liners.
* Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
* I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
* A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
* I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
* Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Sarcastic One Liners.
* Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
* If At First You Don't Succeed, Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
* Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
* Never trust a dog to watch your food.
* Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Sarcastic One Liners.
* Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
* Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
* A woman's favorite position is CEO.
* Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
* Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1?
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Sarcastic One Liners.
* Does your train of thought have a caboose?
* Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
* See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
* I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
* Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Names.
Lawyer's daughter: Sue
Thief's son: Rob
Lawyer's son: Will
Doctor 's son: Bill
Meteorologist's daughter: Haley
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Names.
Steam shovel operator's son: Doug
Hair Stylist's son: Bob
Homeopathic doctor's son: Herb
Justice of the peace's daughter: Mary
Sound stage technician's son: Mike
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Names.
Hot-dog vendor's son: Frank
Gambler's daughter: Bette
Exercise guru's son: Jim
Cattle Thief's son: Russell
Painter's son: Art
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Advertising Terms.
NEW - Different color from previous design.
ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.
UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition.
FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments.
ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Advertising Terms.
IT'S HERE AT LAST - Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.
FIELD TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment.
HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit.
FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does.
REDESIGNED - Previous flaws fixed - we hope.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Advertising Terms.
DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had a big argument with distributor.
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one to work.
BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a use for it.
MAINTENANCE FREE - Impossible to fix.
MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Signs That You Might Be From New Jersey.
You don't think of fruit when people mention "The Oranges."
You know that it's called "Great Adventure", not "Six Flags."
A good, quick breakfast is a hard roll with butter.
At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen and/or know the town Jon Bon Jovi is from.
You know what a "jug handle" is.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore
The Top Five Signs That You Might Be From New Jersey.
You know that WaWa is a convenience store.
You know that there are no "beaches" in New Jersey, there's "The Shore". And you don't go "to the Shore", you go "down the Shore". And when you are there, you're not "at the shore", you are "down the Shore," and you know that the road to the shore is "The Parkway" not "The Garden State Highway."
Even your school cafeteria made good Italian subs. And it's a Sub, not a submarine sandwich, a hoagie, a hero, or a grinder.
You know how to properly navigate a Circle.
You knew that the above sentence had to do with driving.
Warm Christian Love
Bangalore