Greetings fellow slaves!! :clap:
Hows it going mates? :hug:
I want to start a thread for parents and children (which, all of us fit into at least one of these catagories, and perhaps two, so that means there will be lots of posts, doesnt it? Hehehe! ;)).
I want to know what it was like for you growing up, how were your parents towards you? How were you towards your parents? How have their belief systems and conditioning shaped the way you "are" in your life?
Also, if you have children - what was it like raising them? What emotions did you go through? What challenges did you face, overcome? Perhaps you have worn the brunt of difficult times, and have not had the best run in life, with your children?
How are your relationships with your parents, your children? Maybe they have been and gone - is there anything you would like to say, that you could if they were still here? Is there anyway that you could improve on being a better father, mother, sister, brother, child, son or daughter?
Maybe you dont have a family, but you would like to have one? What goes through your mind? Why do you long for this?
Maybe you dont have the best relationship (or no relationship) with your parents, or children -- how does that feel? What would it mean to reconcile with them? How would you reconcile with them? If reconciliation were within your grasp, what would you personally have to overcome to perturbate towards reconciliation?
Are you weighed down by the lack of forgiveness and mercy upon thoughtless choices and actions you have made in the past? Do you yourself hold onto anger, guilt, shame, fear, sadness because of what your parents or children have done? Why do you hold onto it? Why have you managed to let it go? How did you do it? How do you do it?
I pray that you all are able to feel free to share -- this is not a thread of judgement, or a thread to make ourselves feel better from someone elses misrery -- rather, let us take an oppourtunity to express our joys, our sorrows, our pain, our hardships, our triumphs, our excitement and our love for what truly is, a gift from our Father Jehovah God -- yes, that gift is wrapped in "Life" -- and sometimes Life can be good or bad -- so come on -- get it out of ya head!
Cheers! :thumbsup:
Thats me and Malakhi, in Sydney, on Bondi Beach. For those of you who dont know, I was up in Sydney doing a course (I live in Melbourne), my son has just recently moved over from New Zealand, so, I was able to visit him. We had such a great day at the beach. Before that I had not seen him for 9 months. I miss him so very much!
I have a lot more to share, but I will do so, as you all, share your stories too!!
May LOVE be with you!
your bro -- beau! :friends::friends::friends:
what a thread Beau :friends: and what great pictures by the way. :heartbeat: They are simply beautiful and full of joy. :heartbeat:
I will come back with some thoughts when I have time (saltmine calls)
of course you realize there is potential pain waiting for many of us in a discussion like this one.
I will say one thing that in order to explain my own childhood I have to go back into my mother's for her pain became our own. I believe dysfunction works that way. I have 1 sister and 3 brothers. We all handled it differently but we have all been all our lives overcoming childhood. Maybe that's part of the reason we are adults so much longer than we are children.... :thinking:
Talk to you soon :friends: ..keep that joy flowing that I see in the pictures Beau. I think too many kids are raised joyless which is not good :friends: ... love from your friend wolfie...
Yep, it is a great thread Beau....I would imagine that from the questions you raised, each of us could write volumes.
That includes me, and I've touched on some of it in the past....I was born many years after my 2 sisters, and I caught the brunt of my mother's mental illness...she was actually committed from when I was 1 1/2 until I was 4...when she got out, she was extremely abusive, both mentally and physically. Being much older, my sisters left by the time I was 10, and then my father left while I was getting baptized at age 12...so I was left alone with my mom....and then she directed all her anger at me, so, I had to leave. I took my clothes and basically crashed wherever I could, until I got my own place when I was 19.
Part of the problem was my father's lifetime addiction to gambling and alcohol...he kept losing the rent money, and my mother flipped out when the loan sharks started calling every day....
As for me being a parent, the circumstances have been tough, being divorced from their mom, the younger one being autistic, but the older one now in his second year of college, a fine young man! But all I can say is that I've been a far better father than my dad was....
But I have to give my mom credit, she taught me to read and write before I got to kindergarten, and as a result I aced it all the way through 8th grade without much effort....when dad left I fell apart, started cutting class and working to support myself. I got a 6 on my 9th grade Spanish final, I guess for getting my name right.... As for the damage the Watchtower did through all this, I've touched on it before, no need to rehash it again here. Plus, I wouldn't want any of this to be construed as trying to garner sympathy. I'm past all that. I can't hold myself responsible for making stupid decisions based on what I believed as a dumb kid....I have no one to blame but the Tower. For everything....:D
:heartbeat:
Jesh
Greetings fellow slaves!! :clap:
Hows it going mates? :hug:
Thank you Wolfie and Jeshurun for "getting it out of ya head!"!!
One of my biggest reasons for starting this thread is to find out more about my brothers and sisters, and to also find learnings in other peoples experiences, and hopefully others will find this as well.
Ive come to a point in my life where im not only finding out that holding onto negative emotion throughout ones life, is not really the best way to go about things -- Im also "letting go" -- and Peace is becoming my friend more and more these days. Sure, self-induced stress is there as well, just to remind us of where we've been, in case we forget to be Appreciative and Grateful for the provisions set out by our Loving Father and Lord.
Not so long ago, whenever I thought of my father or my mother, memories with a negative charge would come up -- now those things seem trivial, as im realising the years that have passed, and how life can be brutally unforgiving to those who hold an unforgiving mindset.
But is this the heritage of mankind? To hold onto the pain of sin and its consequences? Is this how a child of God lives? I dont think so. Our Lord Jesus Christ suffered much to show the power of Forgiveness, Truth and Light -- life is way too short to hold onto the past, in a negative way. Love is Way, the Truth and the Life!
Well, ill be posting soon, im going to New Zealand for my uncles funeral -- the first of my mum's siblings to pass away. Its amazing how the ressurection hope can give one so much strength. Ill be catching up with my Dad and my Mum tomorrow.
Heres to "Life"!! :drinking:
May LOVE be with you!
your bro -- beau! :friends::friends::friends:
so true beau
if you are familiar with the writings of eckhart tolle he writes about facing your past and then letting it go--then it has no hold on you at all...as long as it does then one is involved with what he refers to as a ''pain body'' which I understand pretty well from my own point of view and history... :love: it is a blessing and a relief to be able to Let IT Go and breathe deeply of the joy of life --and isn't that referrenced in The Lord's Prayer --''forgive us our debts as we have also forgiven our debtors.''--once you realize you have forgiven those who have trespassed against You then you are actually Free to forgive yourself for your own failings...what a circle to be involved in :love: :grouphug:
Hey Mama Wolfie!! :clap:
Hows it going sister? (I LOVE the Mama Wolfie addage! :thumbsup:)
if you are familiar with the writings of eckhart tolle he writes about facing your past and then letting it go--then it has no hold on you at all...as long as it does then one is involved with what he refers to as a ''pain body'' which I understand pretty well from my own point of view and history... :love:
Yes, I have heard of Eckhart Tolle, I have 2 of his books -- The Power of Now and A New Earth. I must admit that I havent read them both right through, but I have read bits and pieces to get an overall feel. I really like what he writes about - especially pertaining to what you spoke of -- the "Pain Body".
Our bodies have the ability to "remember" EVERYTHING that happens to us - all this information is embedded into our unconscious or subconscious mind. All our programing, beliefs, values, perceptual filters and mind-sets are loaded into our unconscious mind, and we live lives and make choices that reflect what we fundamentally "believe".
And yet it doesnt just stop there. We also have our parents "stuff", their parents "stuff", and so on. I think that this is probably the basis for terms like Karma (minus the reincarnation part) -- anything that remains unresolved from generation to generation becomes "stuck" into our being and manifests as either the same behaviour or as some other behaviour that has the same underlying, unresolved energy resonating through it.
People who say that this is delving into the realm of "darkness" should be aware that the Bible actually supports this view, or at least gives us the root cause of this phenomena >
Just as sin entered the world through one man, and death resulted from sin, therefore everyone dies, because everyone has sinned. -- Romans 5:12
For just as through one man's disobedience many people were made sinners, -- Romans 5:19
We see that it was through Adam's choice that sin came into the world, therefore all who come from Adam are affected by Adam's choice. So we are all dealing with the effects of our first "parent". This continues to this day. What we are dealing with, are all the unresolved issues that are embedded into our being, PLUS the ones that we make during our lifetime! Phew! :funnyface:
blessing and a relief to be able to Let IT Go and breathe deeply of the joy of life --and isn't that referrenced in The Lord's Prayer --''forgive us our debts as we have also forgiven our debtors.''--once you realize you have forgiven those who have trespassed against You then you are actually Free to forgive yourself for your own failings...what a circle to be involved in :love: :grouphug:
So true! Forgiveness is at the FOREFRONT of reality! It is like the gatekeeper of whether or not one is able to clear issues from the past or not. It is also contingent upon our ability to actualise its reality into our own reality, and therefore live the benefits of such.
I mean, how many people believe in Jesus, believe in the Ransom, believe in the Spirit, yet are still adversely effected by the past - when Jesus states that we are "free"? Is it because their faith is "not as big" as it should be? Probably not. I think its more to do with our understanding and our ability to be truly honest with ourselves. We tend to take the "helpless sinners" mantra a bit too far, and not realise that patterns of behaviour and subconscious beliefs can be changed in accord with the "model" of the Son of God.
Forgiveness changes everything! :friends:
You are so right Mama Wolfie! It is an awesome circle to be involved in! :friends:
May LOVE be with you!
your bro -- beau! :friends::friends::friends:
Hi DP and family,
I would love to respond to this thread.
As soon as I have a good moment, I'll be with you.
I think you want some deep, personal insight. Without Jehovah and Jesus giving me stength, I have nothing.
So, presently, I'm looking inward concerning my role with my family and health.
With love to you and yours, Debbie
Hey Debbie!! :clap:
Hows it going sister? :thumbsup:
Hi DP and family,
I would love to respond to this thread.
As soon as I have a good moment, I'll be with you.
I think you want some deep, personal insight. Without Jehovah and Jesus giving me stength, I have nothing.
So, presently, I'm looking inward concerning my role with my family and health.
With love to you and yours, Debbie
Thanks for the reply, Debbie!
This thread really is just a testemant (sp?) to this thing called "Life" -- whether you want to share things that are "deep", or things that lightly touch the surface, or perhaps you just want to say "ARRRRGGHHH!!" -- Hehehe -- anything is good and everything is fine! I am very much looking forward to your thoughts! :giverose:
I agree with your thoughts about Jehovah and Jesus -- where would any of us be without them? My goodness, the thought makes me shudder! Id probably still be popping ecstacy pills, snorting lines of Ketamine and fornicating with anything that was in front of me and hanging out with Micheal Phelps at the next party!
Or maybe id be weighed down by the ramifications of all the really stupid choices ive made from my past, and all the people they have affected.
Or maybe without the JW conditioning, things could have been "better" -- its hard to say -- what I do know, is that existence is pure potentiality, and based on the programming in our unconscious mind, as well as the choices we make -- we become in alignment with as much of that "potentiality" as our programming will allow us, which also slides along the spectrum of "good" and "bad".
Its easy to think of our unconscious mind as a computer, that has a search engine (perception, filters, values etc..) much like Yahoo, or Google. If we type in, say "Fear", we will only search for everything that resonates with Fear. Same goes for Happiness, Guilt, Joy, Oppourtunity, Doubt, Pain, Health, etc.
So we got to ask ourselves -- what is it we are "searching" for? Can we "search" for other things? How do you change what you "search" for? And even better -- how does the Spirit shape what we "search" for, and is it possible to truly change EVERYTHING that we "search" for through Christ? We are to have faith in the Son of God - we are to "model" Jesus.
Hence we change what we "search" for to what Jesus "searched" for!
If that is the case, and it is --> what do we see? :thumbsup:
Makes ya think! ;)
:friends: Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. :friends:
May LOVE be with you!
your bro -- beau! :friends::friends::friends:
Greetings fellow slaves!! :clap:
Hows it going mates? :hug:
I kinda forgot about this thread, but thought I would write something on it. :redface::funnyface::grouphug:
Its been some time since ive had a good conversation with my Dad....its kinda hard mainly because of his work schedule, and mine and also the subtle rift of our theological differences (he is a JW, and I am definitely not) - ive learnt that its best not to bring up spiritual subjects with him. He is pretty stubborn....and I definitely received those genes too! LOL!
Since im getting older now, I can see how important it is for myself, to know what it was like for my Dad to be who he was and is - the reasons of why he made the choices he did - and not to just assume things, but to find out, to get a real understanding of what it was like raising my sister and I on his own, for the time he did.
Its hard, because it means a new phase of growth for my personal development -- growing up sure is interesting! I want to know his hurts and his pain, and to know his joys and his pleasures and the things that he holds dear to him -- I thought that maybe I could get through life without knowing or without caring about this all -- but "Life!!" keeps pushing me towards having an understanding of him outside my own childish assumptions.
Just to be real - without the crap, and without the uneasy pretense -- I know the end result will be amazing....its just getting of my own rear-end and doing it!
Ah....such is "Life!!" :groupwave:
Nice LB, growth and healing
I didn't see you mention to seek out his fears..
That molds who we are also.
Hey BIG BRO!! :clap:
Thanks for your reply Frank! :D
Nice LB, growth and healing
I didn't see you mention to seek out his fears..
That molds who we are also.
Yes!! Thanks for that! I totally see the importance of seeking out my Dad's fears too...I have some ideas....but I cant assume things anymore...I get the feeling that it pigeon-holes him, and sometimes people can only be what we expect them to be - mainly because we are looking at them through the lens of our own perceptions - I dont want that anymore - growth and healing is very much needed. Ive been reading some books on "manhood" and the "men's movement" -- its interesting - men tend to take on stereotypical archetypes of behaviour and being, pumped either by our father figures, either in the home, or on TV. There are a lot of "mangled" men around!
He was brought up as a JW - his mother, my grandmother, became a JW before he was born - my Dad is the firstborn of the family, and the only one out of 9 children who is a JW.....im really happy that Jehovah came into my nan's life, and that it had a positive effect on Dad.
I feel its part of the "manhood" process...especially since I am a Dad myself. Its funny how certain experiences will make you stop and "wake up" to yourself....im just happy he is still alive....this process can be harder to do when they are gone.
Thanks again for the heads up.....its gonna be an interesting journey, thats for sure!
Thanks BIG BRO! :friends::friends::friends:
:happyheart:
I am very happy for you,,
One side effect of it might be.
His healing,, when he can actually tell you those things you seek.
he will have heard them from his own mouth. the effects are enormous.
Peace LB
Hey BIG BRO!! :clap:
:happyheart:
I am very happy for you,,
One side effect of it might be.
His healing,, when he can actually tell you those things you seek.
he will have heard them from his own mouth. the effects are enormous.
Peace LB
Ah ha! Yes!! Again...geez bro - thanks for another widened view....another learning...yep...it isnt just about me - its about his healing too -- and while ive lived some time with my "stuff", he has lived longer than me, and gone through arguably more pain than I have. So yes, thats the goal - reconciliation - mending relationships and connections, and letting love do its thing - and sowing seeds for the rest my his life and my life, and in the life of my son's, and the rest of my family's lives....leaving all the B.S where it should be...somewhere safely in non-existence. :ok::thumbup::thumbsup:
Thanks again Frank...its good to have a BIG BRO! :friends::friends::friends:
[quote=digital_punk]
Greetings fellow slaves!! :clap:
Hows it going mates? :hug:
It's going pretty good here!, Thanks for asking! :)
I want to start a thread for parents and children (which, all of us fit into at least one of these catagories, and perhaps two, so that means there will be lots of posts, doesnt it? Hehehe! ;)).
[/i]Yep! This could get long, I'm the mother of 6 , plus 8 grand children. Both my parents are alive but ageing fast.:( I'm afraid I will soon be feeling pulled in too many directions.[/i]
I want to know what it was like for you growing up, how were your parents towards you? How were you towards your parents? How have their belief systems and conditioning shaped the way you "are" in your life?
[/i]I had a great childhood, dispite the dysfunction. Mostly what went on around me was "normal". my relationship with my Dad was one of him being gone working all the time.He did make changes when I was a teen & needed attention.His heart was in the right place , he just didn't know what to do. As I learned more about his dad & sisters lives as an adult , I learned it was a passed on ignorance of parenting skills , and he was making gains, I've tried to improve on too.Families don't generaly get messed up in one generation or fixed in one either.My dad is a sentimental loving man, I know he loves me, he was around when I needed him most.
My Mom & I had a strained relationship.Something haunting her from her past or that happened about the time I was born.She was distant & rejected me physically as a child. I grew up with out the affection, understanding I saw given to my older & younger brothers.
She said some cold things to me as a very young child I carried in my heart for years.It colored my perseption of myself and influenced many bad decisions I made as a teen. She was very critical of me when we were alone.I worked on changing that in my 30's. I practiced for months a speech to give her when she next visited , it was all about setting boundries, practiced & practiced so it woulkd be gentle, loving but firm. I never gave the speech, I think she sensed something and restrained herself. A few years later she popped her cork & let go at me again, but that time it was in front of the whole family & she was expossed. it has not happened again.I no longer feel the elephant on the room when we are together.
I've become a stronger person who doesn't allow elephants in my home.I realize it is more up to me to change than impose rules on others, that they will respond to my changes. I believe family & our relationships are important, so I work on them even when it's hard & time consuming.My parents always made time for family too. I was also blessed that their relationships were non-judgemental and transended the differences with everyone else, as far as I remember growing up. Close families on both parents sides.I find that in our busier times & spread out families , it's something you need to work at to keep.I don't want to lose the extended family, I want it there for my children.
When I married I moved across the country & didn't have the blessing of family around while I was a young married woman & mother. it was hard.:(
My families beliefs systems, hmmmm.
My father golfed.
My mother took us to church, (Bretheren turned Methodist), other family good church going christians, Lutherens, Jw's, Episcopalian (?), & fundamentalist small church goers. I have a family full of missionaries, and a woman minister cousin.My mom was open minded and never said anything to me as a child about the JW relatives that would have given me reason not to invite them in.
The church I was raised in lacked teaching.It wasn't up to the task of fighting the influence of the 60's. My mom did not make up for that lack. She was an opressed member of the "silent generation", and embraced the "boomer gen's" changes to society. I was raised to be "That Girl" in the hopes I'd age into a Mary Tyler More or something. But they were good girls who mothers I doubt took them to see the movies my mom took me to. It's like she only saw the descriminating/oppressive side of her upbringing and in exposing me to the culture of the 60's as a child/young teen, I didn't have the restraint of valued institutions/moral community or strong teaching in church to guide me through my teen choices.
As for beliefs, I got them more from history books than church or the bible. I was influenced by the reformation , rejected catholasism , didn't understand liturgy, and leaned towards quaker as a teen.I believed in the bible, GOD, & Jesus, did not understand the gospel.I was ripe pickings for the JW's . :confused::blush:
More another time, Blithe[/i][/i]