I have a cousin of mines who was a fine sister for many years, who had to endure the divorce loophole. She married a (spiritual brother)
and they had a daughter. They eventually started having problems in their marriage, He started an affair with another sister, they got married and eventually both were re-instated. My cousin of course divorced him, but was left to handle this situation depressed and a shell of her former self. she stopped going to the meetings.
This loophole plays itself more often than people think.
If one does not mind being disfelloshipped for a year, the loophole works brilliantly!
terrible isn't?
This stuff happens more often than I would've ever suspected. In my area, there are similar experiences.
In one of the congregations I was in, an Italian brother had a wife and 2 kids, started a affair with another woman, and was dis-fellowshipped. When memorial time came around he brought his mistress to the event... needless to say, he should have stuck with his wife... and yes, he's back
From that same congregation there was a British family, who are exemplary witnesses, peace to them. The son of this family married a "spiritual" sister and they had kids together. In time his wife cheated on him with the husband of his fleshly sister, who were also a witnesses. The cheating pair also has kids, so what their kids will grow up saying, is that their uncle, is their step father; and their cousins, are their half brothers/ and sisters... The unfaithful duo were dis-fellowshipped, but now have returned and are married to each other. The faithful individuals are remarried to others.
I pray these experiences never become my own.
Shalom to you and your cousin.
Greetings dear S3RAPH1M, may you be blessed in Holy Spirit always.
These are very sad accounts, and only detract from "true" Christian conduct. All too often we associate "true Christianity" with a religion or some organization that proclaims "true Christianity". And of course when we see those who "break the rules" in so called Christianity we seem to feel the effects more critically?
The reality is, that "true christianity" is not associated with any organization or particular religion. It is truly lived out within each individual. So, when individuals step outside of the bounds of those Christian principals, we are judged not by men, religions or organizations, we are judged by our Lord and King Jesus who has been given that right by his Father.
It should not be shocking that we all sin and are all required to repent constantly, but the only reason why we seem to be shocked, is that for some reason we think that man made organizations, religions, hold us to a higher accountability? How can that be so?
So it seems that we fear more the fact that we sin against the formalized beliefs than we do when we actually sin against God? Maybe this is just another way religion has place anothoer stronghold on us, and if so, (shame on us).
We must remember, that none of us can live life without sinning, and that is why scripture says, "if you maintain faith in Christ" you are not only forgiven for the sins you have commited, but also for the ones you yet have not commited. How much simpler can it be? We do not owe to men, we owe ultimately to our Lord and King and Svior Jesus the Christ.
May you continue in Christs' love and peace, love brother Fred
This stuff happens more often than I would've ever suspected. In my area, there are similar experiences.
In one of the congregations I was in, an Italian brother had a wife and 2 kids, started a affair with another woman, and was dis-fellowshipped. When memorial time came around he brought his mistress to the event... needless to say, he should have stuck with his wife... and yes, he's back
From that same congregation there was a British family, who are exemplary witnesses, peace to them. The son of this family married a "spiritual" sister and they had kids together. In time his wife cheated on him with the husband of his fleshly sister, who were also a witnesses. The cheating pair also has kids, so what their kids will grow up saying, is that their uncle, is their step father; and their cousins, are their half brothers/ and sisters... The unfaithful duo were dis-fellowshipped, but now have returned and are married to each other. The faithful individuals are remarried to others.
I pray these experiences never become my own.
Shalom to you and your cousin.
I have a cousin of mines who was a fine sister for many years, who had to endure the divorce loophole. She married a (spiritual brother)
and they had a daughter. They eventually started having problems in their marriage, He started an affair with another sister, they got married and eventually both were re-instated. My cousin of course divorced him, but was left to handle this situation depressed and a shell of her former self. she stopped going to the meetings.
This loophole plays itself more often than people think.
If one does not mind being disfelloshipped for a year, the loophole works brilliantly!
terrible isn't?
godislove, you just described the very situation I went through, it was a terrible experience - wasn't even married three months and he was having an affair with his former fianc'ee whom his was going to marry prior to me - but her parent's stopped the wedding because of his reputation - not one person from his kingdom hall gave any warning to me - I was kicked out of our home - my father (who is not a witness) had to help me move my furniture from the front yard - it was a terrible time - he was disfellowshiped - as well as she - within a year he was back in good standing, and married to his lover; it was a such hypocrisy.
sage
How sad for you Sage 41
It's so shcking to see these things going on, and being allowed to continue!
Thank goodness your father didn't disown you too! What must he think?!There are some very sick people in that organization, aren't there? A spiritual paradise? No way!
Christian love to you,
Sis Grateful
Hi Sage---I am so sorry this happened to you. --wow--what a shock and only three months into your marriage--I hope you recovered and moved on without too any scars. It is awful how some people treat others in the name of 'love.'
Much Love to You Sage --Wolfie
“And this is the second thing that YOU people do, [this resulting in] covering with tears the altar of Jehovah, with weeping and sighing, so that there is no more a turning toward the gift offering or a taking of pleasure [in anything] from YOUR hand. 14 And YOU have said, ‘On what account?’ On this account, that Jehovah himself has borne witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you yourself have dealt treacherously, although she is your partner and the wife of your covenant. 15 And there was one who did not do [it], as he had what was remaining of [the] spirit. And what was that one seeking? The seed of God. And YOU people must guard yourselves respecting YOUR spirit, and with the wife of your youth may no one deal treacherously. 16 For he has hated a divorcing,” Jehovah the God of Israel has said; “and the one who with violence has covered over his garment,” Jehovah of armies has said. “And YOU must guard yourselves respecting YOUR spirit, and YOU must not deal treacherously. (Malachi 2:13-16)
I doubt that our Father's sentiments have ever changed regarding this issue.
sw
Dear Friends, thank you for your sympathy/empathy concerning my experiences with the JW's - I could probably write a book - but many others have already done that - so I will leave it at that.
Take Care!
sage
I have a cousin of mines who was a fine sister for many years, who had to endure the divorce loophole. She married a (spiritual brother)
and they had a daughter. They eventually started having problems in their marriage, He started an affair with another sister, they got married and eventually both were re-instated. My cousin of course divorced him, but was left to handle this situation depressed and a shell of her former self. she stopped going to the meetings.
This loophole plays itself more often than people think.
If one does not mind being disfelloshipped for a year, the loophole works brilliantly!
terrible isn't?
I just ran across this post, and although it's been awhile since it's posting, I felt a need to go you one better. I was disfellowshipped in the early 80's, I wanted to be reinstated and let my Christian JW wife know this on more then one occasion. However, she wasn't happy in the marriage, I wasn't spiritual enough for her it seems, so the Elders actually told her that because she was depressed and unhappy with our marriage, then that as far as they were concerned, made me an absolute spirtual danger and would make it O.K. for her to divorce me. They then introduced her after the divorce to another Elder, and they started courting openly in the congregation. When she told me she was seeing another man, I reminded her she was not free to remarry, her response was
" Let me know when I am." after all, wouldn't want to be guilty of adultery now would we 
Hi Guys,
These are terrible life stories, on two levels I think – that they leave people so hurt and cheated by those who claim to live by the laws of the true God, and also because they show complete contempt for that God and His laws.
I’m guessing that society kept women at a real disadvantage in ancient Israel, so the emphasis was on their betrayal by their husbands who thought God could be mocked. But in a more equal society, it is becoming crystal clear that our sisters are just as capable of taking advantage of loopholes as the brothers.
So adultery is not the only justification for divorce anymore. Perhaps Jesus was too simple minded for our complex world. You can be judged unworthy by those in authority whose opinions are just those of men and are very arbitrary. The mind boggles that we can be properly encouraged to stay living with unbelieving spouses but also encouraged to divorce spouses deemed to be spiritually weak or spiritually threatening.
When I went through a very bad patch in my marriage, I discovered that the mature sisters were not encouraging the younger sisters to stay with their husbands, but were giving them the benefit of all their knowledge of good lawyers and ‘best practice’ to get yourself out of the marriage. It isn’t just elders. It is a case of Christians reaching for the Bible when times are good, and reaching for the telephone to contact lawyer and family and friends when times are bad. I discovered that everyone involved will use worldly wisdom when the chips are down, and revert back to the higher laws when they don’t matter anymore.
Brendan.
My sister did this as well. She divorced her husband, got disfellowshipped. waited a year, and got reinstated. She even tried to get me to leave my husband, because he was abusive twice early in our marriage. She has been cold to me ever since I did'nt take her advice. These scriptures remind me of why not to do this, because the Father hates this.
Jer 7:8-11 But look, you are trusting in deceptive words that are worthless. "Will you steal and murder, commit adultery and perjury, burn incense to Baal and follow other gods you have not known, and then come and stand before me in this house, which bears my Name, and say, 'We are safe'--safe to do all these detestable things? Has this house, which bears my Name, become a den of robbers to you? But I have been watching! declares the Lord."
Jer 9:2-3 ...For they are all adulterers, a crowd of unfaithful people. "They make ready their tongue like a bow, to shoot lies; it is not by truth that they triumph in the land. They go from one sin to another; they do not acknowledge me," declares the Lord.
Jer 13:22-27 "And if you ask yourself, 'Why has this happened to me?'--it is because of your many sins that your skirts have been torn off and your body mistreated. Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard its spots? Neither can you do good who are accustomed to doing evil. I will scatter you like chaff driven by the desert wind. This is your lot, the portion I have decreed for you," declares the Lord, "because you have forgotten me and trusted in false gods. I will pull up your skirts over your face that your shame may be seen--your adulteries and lustful neighings, your shameless prostitution! I have seen your detestable acts on the hills and in the fields. Woe to you, O Jerusalem! How long will you be unclean?"
I am so sick of adulteries and disgusting neighings over others peoples mates that goes on at a place that is supposed to be the Fathers Holy Place. Grown men neighing over your 10 year old daughter even!! This is the main reason I left. If I am so disgusted, imagine the Father? This is why he made the command to get out of her! Touch nothing unclean, if you want to carry his utensils.
Love,
New Heart
Yeah, my sister did the same thing too. She was married to her first husband for 24 years, when her former boyfriend started coming to the KH. (The boyfriend was never JW at the time). They started an affair, and then told mom about it. It was pretty well planned: Leave the first husband, get disfellowshipped, marry the boyfriend, and work towards reinstatement. She and the boyfriend married, and she was df'd for less than two years. The boyfriend is now a baptized JW. As for my ex brother in law, he seemed to take the whole thing pretty well, but still he got a raw deal.
I think if a JW couple use the divorce loophole like that, they should be made to work really hard for resinstatement. I mean, is it really repentance if you plan for the whole outcome?
To me this is willful sinning against the Holy Spirit. They know it is wrong in their hearts, but through a selfish spirit, they do it anyway and put themselves first above God, even though this hurts him. They live with their minds on fleshly things, instead of seeking first the kingdom and doing the right thing.